Kuhrt.net - Rants, Raves and Reviews

This page is dedicated to spewing forth my opinions about whatever strikes my fancy, makes me twitchy, or causes me to reach for the Pepto. (hence the festive Pepto colored background).

Don't like what you read? Check out the disclaimer, below.

When spewed Ranting
Rating
Gurglings
28-DEC-2012 EYEORE

Obama and Feinstein are dismantling the Constitution one amendment at a time. Current target is the 4th, so get ready for search and seizure, at the Gubbmint leisure.

The Atlantic article is HERE.

17-DEC-2012 FARSIDE_ANGRY_GUY

It isn't a matter of gun control...

There is a lot of press about gun control lately.

There is no correlation between guns and mass shootings, but there is between mental health and institutionalization.

This article documents the "American progressive thinking" about mental health and inititutionalization and how it has created a tidal wave of mass killings.

10-DEC-2012 GLARING_BRAIN

According to Condi

4-DEC-2012 POWDERED_TOAST

Subject: [Humorlist Joke] Fundamental Changes in Golf

President Obama has appointed a Golf Czar. Major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective January 21, 2013. This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2,716 pages) is in the process of being rewritten. Here are a few of the known changes:

Golfers with handicaps that are:

  • Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
  • Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
  • Above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.

The term "gimmie" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:

  • Handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
  • Handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
  • Handicaps above 18, if your ball is on the green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. In addition, a player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again.

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above. This is intended to "re-distribute" the success of winning by making sure that in all competitions every player above an 18 handicap will post only "net score" against every other player's "gross score".

These new rules are intended to FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGE the game of golf. Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility. This is the "right thing to do." So, please remember; if you shot a round of golf under par, you didn't do it yourself. Someone else built that course, and someone else cut the grass so that you could play on it. Someone else built the clubs and the cart. You need to share with everyone and anyone who made you a successful golfer.

2-NOV-2012 FARSIDE_ANGRY_GUY

Media Bias? What Media Bias?

18-OCT-2012 FARSIDE_DUCK

Binders Full Of Crap

The latest flap about "binders full of Women" shows that the liberals are really desparate to deflect attention from the real problems the Nation is facing. Since Obama/Biden can not obviously run on "four years of utter failure, let us do it again", they HAVE to discredit anyway they can.

What actually happened was that in 2002 -- prior to the election, not even knowing yet whether it would be a Republican or Democratic administration -- a bipartisan group of women in Massachusetts formed MassGAP to address the problem of few women in senior leadership positions in state government. There were more than 40 organizations involved with the Massachusetts Women's Political Caucus (MWPC, also bipartisan) as the lead sponsor.

They did the research and put together the binder full of women qualified for all the different cabinet positions, agency heads, and authorities and commissions. They presented this binder to Governor Romney when he was elected.

According to MassGAP and MWPC, Romney did appoint 14 women out of his first 33 senior-level appointments, which is a reasonably impressive 42 percent.

So what is the problem, exactly?
The biggest problem the country faces right now is semantics?
Hardly.
I am so tired of Liberal Mock Shock.

17-OCT-2012 SKUNK

Can It All Be A Coincidence?

Interesting article about all the odd coincidences surrounding Obama. People that had dirt on him mysteriously die, links to Malcom X, modelled the housing crisis...

Read it here.

4-OCT-2012 CRITIC_QUESTIONS

Only In America (from the Humor List)

  1. Only in America, could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 a plate campaign fund-raising event.
  2. Only in America, could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of the federal workforce is black while only 12% of the population is black.
  3. Only in America, could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code , Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means Committee, BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.
  4. Only in America, can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.
  5. Only in America, would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege while we discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become American citizens.
  6. Only in America, could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists."
  7. Only in America, could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol , but not to vote .
  8. Only in America, could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).
  9. Only in America, could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history , still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE , and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money.
  10. Only in America, could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all.

2-OCT-2012 SCHEMING_CALVIN

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA) (from the Humor List)

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - President Obama and the US Congress are considering sweeping legislation which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Nancy Pelosi. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.

Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), and home improvement stores. The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability (83%).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires!

Finally, the AWNAA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"

"As a Non-abled Person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her inability to remember "righty tighty, lefty loosey". "This new law should be real good for people like me", Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): "As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of job in this great nation and a good salary with it."

I thought this had been passed long ago.

1-OCT-2012 CRITIC_RASBERRY

Hypocritical Liberal Says What?

You need to pay more taxes, not me

25-SEP-2012 HAPPY_DOT

Give a man a fish...

Original Proverb:
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

OBAMA 2012 White House Revision:
Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone, cash, food stamps, housing, free contraceptives, Medicaid, ninety-nine weeks of unemployment, free meds, and he will vote for Democrats the rest of his life -- even after he's dead.

18-SEP-2012 FARSIDE_ANGRY_GUY

Arab Spring, Obama's Fail

Appeasement worked well for Neville Chamberlain and was able to stave off the Third Reich. Obama thinks it will solve the problems in the Middle East and Southeast Asia, too.

Fred Thompson had some comments about the recent troubles. Check out the article, here...

4-SEP-2012 GLARING_BRAIN

Helping People

I agree with Penn...

Penn on helping

3-AUG-2012 CRITIC_BAD

Bias? What Bias?

10-JUL-2012 FARSIDE_ANGRY_GUY

Media Fail!

Government Motors Inflates Sales by Selling to...the Government

Want some good documentation about Liberal Media Bias? Look no further than NewsBusters.org.

GM sales up 16% in June scream all the rags and "news" outlets.

No mention that it was mostly because government purchases of GM vehicles rose a whopping 79% in June. No mention that the $50 Billion (with a B) of stock the Government bought in GM to keep it afloat is now $15 Billion under water.

Nice work jerks!

5-JUN-2012 CRITIC_GOOD

Dennis Prager's Top 10 Ways Liberalism Makes America Worse

Check out this video. Yes, it is forty minutes, but worth it.

25-MAY-2012 HAPPY_CALVIN

Happy Towel Day!

Towel Day

(it is the graphic from last year, but I like it)

If you are a hoopy frood, you already know where your towel is. Go have a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster to celebrate!

15-MAY-2012 SCHEMING_CALVIN

It Hasn't Dawned On The Pawns

Pawns

19-APR-2012 SKUNK

How to Encourage Racism and Hatred for Political Gain

This is a far cry from the campaign promise to unite us...

Check out this article on how Obama uses race and hatred for political gain.

Disgusting.

15-APR-2012 CRITIC_BAD

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

ObamaCare

24-MAR-2012 FARSIDE_ANGRY_GUY

Bill Of No Rights from the Humor List

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other bed-wetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dumb that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to demand that we extend an olive branch talk to each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat. For some governments in this world, the only peace offering they understand is transported by a bunker buster landing in the presidential palace.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

15-MAR-2012 HAPPY_DOT

One-Line Wisdoms... (from the Humor List)

  • The smallest good deed is better than the greatest intention.
  • Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
  • The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
  • Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
  • Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
  • We have to believe in free will. We have no choice.
  • If you lost your left arm, your right arm would be left.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  • Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.
  • Middle age is when you burn the midnight oil around 9:00 pm.
  • Bald Guys never have a bad hair day.
  • Age only matters if you're cheese.
  • He who laughs, lasts.
  • Forget love, I'd rather fall into chocolate.

4-MAR-2012 FARSIDE_ANGRY_GUY

Subject: Irony Under Obama

The food stamp program, part of the Department of Agriculture, is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever. As of October 2011, 46,224,722 Americans were receiving food stamps. In Washington, D.C., more than one in five residents receives food stamps.

Meanwhile, the US Park Service asks us to "Please do not feed the animals" in the national parks, because the animals may grow dependent and not learn to take care of themselves.

21-FEB-2012 HOBBES

I Am A Radio Announcer

I found this on Facebook today. Don't know who did the original, but I like it.

I think I'm like the top center guy. Diane thinks I'm the upper right guy. Since I own a station, I'm probably closer to the bottom center one.

I Am An Announcer

15-FEB-2012 GLARING_BRAIN

Nothing To Fear But Fear Mongers Themselves

Fear the Fear Mongers

6-JAN-2012 HAPPY_DOT

Puns (from the Humor List)

  1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  2. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
  3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
  4. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
  5. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
  6. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
  7. I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
  8. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
  9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  10. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  11. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  12. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
  13. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  14. I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
  15. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
  16. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
  17. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
  18. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
  19. A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
  20. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.
  21. The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.
  22. Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
  23. When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
  24. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
  25. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
  26. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
  27. I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there.
  28. Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
  29. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
  30. A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.
  31. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
  32. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  33. Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
  34. It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.
  35. I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
  36. My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
  37. I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
  38. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  39. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
  40. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  41. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
  42. She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
  43. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
  44. John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.
  45. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
  46. I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.
  47. A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
  48. Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
  49. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
  50. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

26-DEC-2011 CAT_ACK

Subject: Infant Discovered In Barn (from The Humor List)

Infant Discovered In Barn, Child Protective Services Launch Probe Nazareth Carpenter Being Held On Charges Involving Underage Mother

Authorities were today alerted by a concerned citizen who noticed a family living in a barn.

Upon arrival, Family Protective Service personnel, accompanied by police, took into protective care an infant child named Jesus, who had been wrapped in strips of cloth and placed in a feeding trough by his 14-year old mother, Mary of Nazareth.

During the confrontation, a man identified as Joseph, also of Nazareth, attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by several local shepherds and some unidentified foreigners, tried to forestall efforts to take the child, but was restrained by the police. Also being held for questioning are three foreigners who allege to be wise men from an eastern country.

The INS and Homeland Security officials are seeking information about these who may be in the country illegally. A source with the INS states that they had no passports, but were in possession of gold and other possibly illegal substances. They resisted arrest saying that they had been warned by God to avoid officials in Jerusalem and to return quickly to their own country.

The chemical substances in their possession will be tested.

The owner of the barn is also being held for questioning.

The manager of the Bethlehem Inn faces possible revocation of his license for violating health and safety regulations by allowing people to stay in the stable. Civil authorities are also investigating the zoning violations involved in maintaining live- stock in a commercially-zoned district.

The location of the minor child will not be released, and the prospect for a quick resolution to this case is doubtful. Asked about when Jesus would be returned to his mother, a Child Protective Service spokesperson said, "The father is middle-aged and the mother definitely underage. We are checking with officials in Nazareth to determine what their legal relationship is. Joseph has admitted taking Mary from her home in Nazareth because of a census requirement. However, because she was obviously pregnant when they left, investigators are looking into other reasons for their departure.

Joseph is being held without bond on charges of molestation, kidnapping, child endangerment, and statutory rape. Mary was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is being examined by doctors.

Charges may also be filed against her for endangerment.

She will also undergo psychiatric evaluation because of her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is from God.

The director of the psychiatric wing said, "I don't profess to have the right to tell people what to believe, but when their beliefs adversely affect the safety and well-being of others -- in this case her child -- we must consider her a danger to others.

"The unidentified drugs at the scene didn't help her case, but I'm confidant that with the proper therapy regimen we can get her back on her feet."

A spokesperson for the governor's office said, "Who knows what was going through their heads? But regardless, their treatment of the child was inexcusable, and the involvement of these others frightening. There is much we don't know about this case, but for the sake of the child and the public, you can be assured that we will pursue this matter to the end."

25-DEC-2011 CRITIC_GOOD

KTHO moves to a new studio!

We moved the main KTHO Studio into the Heavenly Village Gondola Complex! Really nice new setup, right next to everything in South Lake Tahoe. That's me standing up behind the main console doing live radio with Gary Bombelecki.

KTHO Live!

4-NOV-2011 HOBBES

The Cat

Schrodinger's Cat

Not sure where I found this, so I can't give proper attribution.

31-OCT-2011 FARSIDE_ANGRY_GUY

Corporate Sponsorship (from the Humor List)

I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors.

9-OCT-2011 POWDERED_TOAST

Conservaphobia (from the Humor List)

conservaphobia: noun. The fear of the American conservative political movement, often based on unfounded stereotypes and distortions.

You might be conservaphobic if:

You've never really listened to Rush Limbaugh because you're already sure that you disagree with practically everything he's ever said.

You refer to liberal Catholics, Protestants and Jews as "people of faith" but conservative Catholics, Protestants and Jews as the "religious right" or "radical religious right". (Maybe you have a thing for alliteration too.)

You think all white Republicans are racists and all black Republicans are sellouts.

You are a champion of first amendment rights except in public school classrooms and in front of abortion clinics.

You're glad you're not a Republican because after all, they want to starve school children and senior citizens.

You actually think that "liberal" and "progressive" are synonymous.

In your opinion, a government donation to the poor is somehow more effective than yours would be.

You only listen to and respect the views of "open-minded" people who think like you do.

You blame society's problems on "religious fanatics" and "corporate greed", never on the irresponsible behavior of individuals.

7-OCT-2011 FARSIDE_ANGRY_GUY

From Ann Coulter...

I am not the first to note the vast differences between the Wall Street protesters and the tea partiers. To name three: The tea partiers have jobs, showers and a point.

Tea partiers didn't block traffic, sleep on sidewalks, wear ski masks, fight with the police or urinate in public. They read the Constitution, made serious policy arguments, and petitioned the government against Obama's unconstitutional big government policies, especially the stimulus bill and Obamacare.

Then they picked up their own trash and quietly went home. Apparently, a lot of them had to be at work in the morning.

Back to main page.
Wait a minute, didn't there used to be more crap on this page?
Yep, I decided to archive it right here.

Standard disclaimers apply. These items reflect how I felt at the time I wrote them and are not affiliated with anyone or anything else. If you don't like it, don't read it again.